Holy Clarkson!

It pains me to say this but I have recently found myself coming to the conclusion that Jeremy Clarkson might be the saviour of the English language.

This thought came to me a few days ago, not while listening the the Top Gear presenter's baritone voice or his opinions on the latest Audi or Porsche, but while listening to an economics report on Radio 4's PM programme. A correspondent was reporting on the possibility of some kind of economic rescue package to be proposed by the Chancellor. The reporter was speculating as to what the package might consist of and finished by saying that the Chancellor would need to be careful that it didn't 'turn out to be a damp squib'. So far, so informative. The only problem was that I had been able to see the approach of the words 'damp squib' from the start of the sentence, if not the paragraph.

It was then that I realised the problem. Journalism, an occupation which is all about words and opinions and communications is hidebound with clichés. Whether it is reporters talking about 'damp squibs' or weather-presenters talking about torrential and (get this) heavy rain, the media seems entirely empty of original prose and original thoughts.

However, there is one shining light that promises a better world. Jeremy Clarkson never met a cliché that he didn't stamp on. Each of his phrases is beautifully constructed to illuminate and surprise. The argument that clichés are useful because people can understand them is redundant. No-one would claim to be unable to understand Clarkson, yet what passes his lips is always fresh and enlightening. You might not agree with what he says, but you have to appreciate the way he says it.

And so I leave you with the following:

"It really is about as useful as putting a snooze button on a smoke alarm."
"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."
“Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”
"Unless I have been sorely misinformed, supermodels are powerless to resist a man with illuminated doorsills."


Oh, yes, and Stephen Fry's pretty good too.